My Sport Relief experience – hardship clip, celeb appeal, funny moment…

Last night the BBC broadcast the ‘Sport Relief’ tv fundraiser, raising money for good causes both in the UK and abroad. http://www.sportrelief.com/ If you haven’t already done so, and if your financial position permits you to make a donation, I would thoroughly encourage you to do so. A very worthwhile charity.

I watched the tv show last night after a tiring week at work and, sat on the sofa like a beached whale, it just struck me as ironic that the theme of the show was supposed to be around sport. But not too long into the program, I started to feel uncomfortable. Watching the appeal clips – where they show individuals who are in need of support (the tear-jerkers that are designed to make you donate) – I started to make some mental calculations. The film in question showed some poor young soul who was working all day, at the age of just 10, and come the evening, was just so tired his bones ached – all he really wanted was to go to school. Indeed the young chap wanted to be a doctor. And in case you wondered what that noise was, that was the sound of my heart-strings twanging and in my mind I was working out if I could adopt him and send him to the local primary school. My mind then drifted onto the lovely Gary Lineker, who was presenting the show at that point….and this story that was in the Daily Mail a week ago: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2116217/Match-Day-BBCs-15-000-travel-Gary-Linekers-chauffeur-ride-Salford-London.html The appeal clip stated that a teacher for this young boy would cost £100pw. Based on Mr Lineker’s alledged £2,000,000 salary for sitting in front of a tv camera and talking from an autocue, that is the equivalent of 384 teachers. Now I know that may be unfair on the lovely Mr Lineker, but I am sure a number of other viewers were making the same mental calculation. In these difficult financial times, we are all becoming used to making tough economic decisions and from where I am sat, a £2m salary paid for by the BBC license payers seems a tad high when there are such needy causes, as highlighted by Mr Lineker himself. It may have been a subliminal message from his conscience.

Having had these thoughts I then found it increasingly difficult to watch the Sport Relief tv show. However much I loved the tv presenters working last night, I couldn’t help working out their worth against the causes they were promoting. And by my calculations a number of people could have their lives saved if we sack Davina McCall, Dermott O’Whatshisname and Claudia Winklepicker. It’s that brutal. These celebs won’t become homeless, they can all sleep in my spare room.

But the last straw came when Dermott O’Whatshisname, whose presenting skills I am not a huge fan of, started to make some quips about not wanting to mention the new BBC tv talent show, ‘The Voice’ (which starts tonight and overlaps with ITV’s ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ – a program made by his employer Simon Cowell). Dermott, you are working for the BBC tonight. If there is a conflict of interests then don’t accept the job. But then, blow me, a section of the Sport Relief show involved the cast of ITV’s Benidorm (being broadcast last night too on ITV) appearing on ITV’s Britain’s Got Talent. Seems to me that the people behind the BBC Sport Relief show are backing the wrong horse. Indeed, there didn’t appear to be a great deal of sport involved other than those sections with cameo appearances by comedians.

Don’t misunderstand my point. The Sport Relief charity is excellent and I have financially supported it this year. I just feel as though times are hard and the days when ‘celebs’ could appeal for us to make donations have gone – the reality is that these type of shows involve the BBC broadcasting hardship clips and then multi-millionaire celebrities shout and sob at us asking us to donate our cash – then we at home look into our wallets (the contents already raped by the tax man and oil companies) and work out if the cat really needs feeding this week because Claudia Winklepicker has demanded a tenner…. and now lets look at this witty clip of a multi millionaire comedian and a token sports personality out of his comfort zone. We know the drill.

I think we have all grown up a bit when it comes to these kind of appeal shows and around making financial decisions so next time, dearest BBC, I think we could do with more fact and less showbiz. Maybe a little less Davina and a little more Fiona Bruce, Sophie Raworth – and Ricky Boleto for the kids. Then if this is about Sport then let’s cover some sport…..otherwise how is this any different from Children in Need, etc etc. If it gives you a clue about engagement levels, then take note that within my work place no one, that’s no one, has mentioned anything sport relief related at all in the last four weeks. Including yesterday. That is an nil engagement. That can’t be right.

My review of ‘The Brits’, my solution to the Adele cock-up and is it time for the return of TFi Friday?

On a quiet, rainy, miserable Tuesday evening in February the thought of watching a couple of hours of live music on tv would seem an attractive proposition to most. This would explain why ITV bagged an audience share of 25% last night with around 6 million viewers tuning to watch James Corden introducing some of the UK’s top acts. http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2012/feb/22/brit-awards-tops-6-million-viewers?newsfeed=true

Based on these kind of viewing figures it begs the question why live music shows such as Top of the Pops or TFi Friday were ever axed……but more of that later. What most people were talking about was not the lovely Coldplay’s opening….nor Noel Gallagher’s keyboard player (Coldplay’s Chris Martin) ……but Adele and her acceptance speech cruelly cut short to enable Blur to perform three songs at the end of the show. (Blur had won the Outstanding Contribution Award – to cheese I think 😉 )  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2104544/BRIT-Awards-2012-Adele-flips-bird-James-Corden-interrupts-speech.html

The award Adele was being presented with, when she was so rudely interrupted, was the ‘British Album of the Year.’ Regarded as the main award of The Brits, the British Album of the Year had been built up right through the ceremony with trailers shown for the nominated artists. George Michael had flown in especially to present the award. The way in which Adele’s acceptance speech was interrupted was quite unprofessional and could have been handled much better by merging Blur’s performance between the ITV1 and ITV2 broadcasts and allowing Adele longer to say her piece.

ITV’s response was ”The BRITs is a live event. Unfortunately the programme was over running and we had to move on. We would like to apologise to Adele for the interruption.’ If I was an ITV executive I would be contacting Adele’s people to arrange an hour-long ‘special’ presented by James Corden to be broadcast primetime – a Sunday evening would be an ideal slot. It’s the least they could do really.

So what else caught people’s attentions at The Brits? Well it would be safe to say that the winners of the ‘Best British Single’ – One Direction – came as a surprise to everyone. Puberty has a lot to answer for. As do push-over parents.

The lovely Ed Sheeran had a great evening – he seems a very genuine and talented chap – and I do hope he continues to enjoy many successes in the years to come.

The Brits was, generally speaking, a tastefully mainstream affair this year – there were no spectacular live performances or collaborations. Some even criticised the winners as being “stars of the ‘New Boring’….” with ballads and anthems performed by safe, polite artists. http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/news/niceness-rocks-ballads-take-centre-stage-at-the-brits-7282735.html

But maybe it’s the sign of the times. Maybe we do not have the passion for loud, angry lyrics from aggressive rock stars….. we need comfort and beautiful songs…..performed by polite artists. And the youth clearly need little boys – sorry – One Direction… and they are welcomed to them too. But I do wonder if the time is right to bring back TFi Friday……did Tuesday prove a passion is there for live music on tv?

http://youtu.be/mbzFqF4VyYY

Aside from the weak comedy bits, TFi Friday brilliantly presented live music and interviews broadcast twice on Friday nights on Channel Four from the Riverside Studios in London. (Well. When I say ‘live’ I mean pre-recorded after a couple of rude words uttered by Shaun Ryder and Ewan McGregor.)

The program ran from 1996 to 2000 with great viewing figures. Maybe the time is right to bring the format back….I mean apart from Jools Holland’s show on BBC2, which tv show showcases live acts in the same way? The only problem is who could front the show……Chris Evans owned the tv production company (Ginger Productions) behind TFi Friday but maybe he isn’t the right person to bring it back. I would say TFi Friday should be aimed at the older Radio 1 listeners and the younger Radio 2 listener age bracket.

I always felt that, towards the end of the TFi Friday run, they should have handed the show over to Zoe Ball as Chris Evans appeared to burn out. Zoe Ball would be an ideal main anchor, if the show was to return, with a couple of younger male side kicks to help along. I could see Wayne Collins (Cocktail guy from BBC2’s Something For The Weekend) playing a part too.

So, darling tv executuves, who would dare bring back quality Friday evening entertainment?

Channel 4's TFi Friday

Street football, Enrique Iglesias and water skiing along the Ship Canal naked

Well this week I am writing my blog  at my parent’s house using their PC, which is an interesting experience as the machine is about 10 years old and not at all fast. While I was waiting for the WordPress site to appear I think I could have taken a walk to the supermarket and done the weekly shop, mown their lawns and probably done the washing up too. Anyhow, the keyboard seems to have survived my nephews and nieces hammering it, as they do, so let’s continue as best we can. If any random images appear of Thomas the Tank engine or Dora the Explorer I must apologise in advance..

Now while I have been visiting, I have been reading their local paper. Not the ‘hatches, matches and dispatches’ – I am not that old yet – but the actual ‘news’ stories.

One article that caught my eye was a story about some kids who had been playing football in the street. They had been told off for doing so by three policemen who arrived in two police cars investigating a complaint made by a neighbour. The Father of the children is pictured at the top of the article looking rather grumpy and holding a letter he had been sent by the local council, warning him of his children’s anti-social behaviour and it’s effect on society. The general theme seemed to be that these were ‘just kids playing in the street’ and that it was all rather heavy-handed to involve three policemen and the local council.  The Father is quoting that good old line about how we all used to play in the street and what harm can be done?

To an extent I do agree that parents these days do over protect their darlings – how will they learn to cope with their environment if they are not allowed out on their own until they are 25? So, on the face of it, I agree that the children should be allowed out to play without supervision given that they are about 8 or 9 years old and in a group. (If the choice is that they either stay in and play on their computers or play outside, I am sure they are at greater risk on the internet than playing outside getting fresh air and enjoying exercise – the risk of the great outdoors is much overrated) The old argument that there are so many more cars around than 10 or 20 years ago is also true – but I still think that children should not be over protected or how else will they learn to deal with the roads? The heavy traffic isn’t going to go away.

What I do agree with is that the roads are not suitable places to be playing football. As I have just said, there are so many more cars about these days….but the issue which affects kids playing football in the street is not so much avoiding the cars when they are moving, but when they are stationary.

I would guess that most family homes have two cars – and a significant number of houses do not have driveways designed for two cars plus visitors so there will be cars parked, quite legally and correctly, on the road. The times when most cars will be parked up will be evenings and weekends – probably just the time when little Johnny and his chums are heading out for a kick about.

Now, excuse me for generalising here, but there is only a certain amount of control an 8-year-old boy has over a football when he kicks it and the fact that there are several of his mates with him will not help his concentration levels. May I also suggest there may be a bit of showing off and bravado going on? I suspect you know where this is going – or at least where the football is going.

Imagine that you are going to visit your friends – your lovely black shiny Audi A3 that you worked so hard to buy is parked outside their house as you go inside for a lovely evening. Outside Little Johnny and his chums are heading out with their football to let-off-steam after a long week at school (happy-slapping their teachers all week then posting the results on YouTube can be tiring – as can surfing the internet for porn during the Biology class) so with one hefty kick the football gets launched skywards to the cheers of his chums…only to land on the roof of your Audi. You won’t be happy. And no matter which direction they boot that football it will hit an expensive car. Are you getting my point?

I have to agree with the Police and with the Council – and I have every sympathy for the neighbour who complained. I would guess that little Johnny carefully avoided hitting his Dad’s car. I would also guess that Little Johnny’s Dad was quite happy to get him and his chums out of the house and was enjoying some peace and quiet whilst the neighbours were watching anxiously as their cars, gardens and houses were at risk from random boots of the ball.

So, kiddies, yes I agree that you should be allowed to venture out into the big wide world but play football at the park. Before the council decides that it is underused and sells the land to developers. Who build houses with driveways for only one car and roads not big enough for NCP and Wembley to sit alongside each other.

Now time to move on from my rant. I have been trying my Parents Virgin Media telly thing, and I have to say it’s quite good. You can get 4-OD, BBC i-player and even ITV player at a click of a button…so I have been catching up on some of last night’s tv. I watched the BBC drama about the start of Coronation Street. It was excellent and I would highly recommend it. I did ponder on how it works having a BBC program all about an ITV program…until I saw the end credits. It would seem that it was an ITV Studios Production…sold to BBC tv….with its subject matter being an ITV program. Now that blew my mind. It was an excellent program anyway.

Finally, I also watched Paul O’Grady’s Friday evening show that was on ITV. It was quite watchable…I do like Paul O’Grady. One of his guests was Enrique Iglesias. Now, his music may not be appearing on my i-pod any time soon, but you have to admire the fact that he is 35 years old and could pass for 12 years younger. Good genes. Apparently he fulfilled a promise that if Spain won the World Cup he would water ski naked. Well good luck to him….some people can do naked at 35 and some people cannot…and I am sure he carried it off with style. I can’t imagine that I shall be appearing naked, water skiing along the Manchester Ship Canal anytime soon. Although, let’s be honest, I also very much doubt our bunch of clueless footballers will be lifting a world cup any time soon, so we’re all quite safe. Far too busy shagging prostitutes it would seem. Allegedly.

Neville, Scholes and manlove in the workplace…

It was announced today that there would be a lifting of the restrictions over air travel for airports in Scotland, Northern Ireland and Northern England after five days of closure. The government are also dispatching three navy ships to collect stranded Brits from Spain and France. However, over the last few days I have heard very little about travellers who have been stranded in the UK. There must be some, surely…are the French sending over some of their warships to collect their citizens? How about the Dutch…or the Spanish?

On Saturday there was a gripping derby match between Manchester United and Manchester City…with the winning goal scored in the closing few minutes of the game by Paul Scholes. (Paul Scholes – he scores goals….as the song goes…) In a moment of excitement and overwhelming emotion, team-mate and die-hard red Gary Neville celebrated by kissing Paul Scholes.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-1266863/Paul-Scholes-gives-Manchester-Uniteds-title-charge-kiss-life.html

Unfortunately for Neville, the moment was captured by the press and splashed across the back pages of Sunday’s newspapers. I would have dearly loved to have heard what HRH Alex Ferguson will have made about it all….I rather suspect that Mr Neville will have been the butt of a few comments in the dressing room. But in the man’s world of football, there have been a few moments of footballers getting a bit carried away with themselves after scoring a goal, but why not, eh? Maybe the practice needs to be copied in other work environments…policemen having a celebratory dance and snog after arresting a drugs dealer…..a salesman sticking his tongue down his colleague’s throat after achieving his month’s sales target…or an accountant having some full on kissing action after completing his client’s profit and loss account. It could catch on….manlove in the work place…

Now I am sure you will have heard the devastating news that Adrian Chiles is quitting The One Show and joining ITV/GMTV. Terrible news. But given his well-known ‘sunny’ disposition, maybe Breakfast TV is not the best place for him. A few moments of his puppy sad face and Brummie tones each morning could set quite the wrong tone for viewers….as well I haven’t watched GMTV for years. BBC Breakfast or Sky’s Sunrise is much better for early morning viewing – or better still listen to the radio.  

Finally, given the tone of some of my blog rants of late I should give credit to BMW, who have recently announced a BMW 3 series 2.0 litre diesel which emits an ever-so-low 109g/km of co2.  http://www.autocar.co.uk/CarReviews/FirstDrives/BMW-3-Series-320d-efficientDynamics/242759/  and Honda who have launched a lovely looking sports coupe hybrid… http://www.honda.co.uk/cars/cr-z/?s3campaign=Cars_Model_CRZ&s3advertiser=Google_PPC&s3banner=honda_crz_hybrid 

which produces only 117g/km co2. Both fascinating cars.